The mist is thicker than the air. Air is grounded and mist is freely blowing all over the place. Fall colors and warmth have evaporated and given way to the chilly winds for past few weeks. As I look out of my bedroom window, the room seems to extend in a blanket of white. The white extends all-around reaches the sky, reaches the next hill which is usually seen form my room and beyond. Few trees which are barely visible have shed leaves and are anticipating the shower of frost and snow any day now. These are the last days of November and winter is fast approaching in Philadelphia.
This is the city which welcomed me in some similar circumstances when I first landed here. But this atmosphere is in stark contrast with my desires and hope for the future that I brought with me when I came here. The desires and hope are alive and have grown stronger in this period. My desire, hope and determination give me the strength each day to wake up and face the world and what it throws toward me with a smile. And as far as I know I am doing well.
I am among the millions who came to this country as skilled software professionals and work here to find better standards of living. This idea holds in my heart that surviving here and working here means that I am doing better in my life and career. Everyone knows that there is price to pay to travel to a foreign country. In my case, I live alone speak to my siblings and father once a week. But this is way of living the big American Dream. I don’t feel any need to justify my decision to come to America in one way or the other. This is my life and I have been living as I thought would be correct.
Many Indians come to this land of opportunity looking for a better life. The lure of western world is overwhelming. Its not just the money which is alluring but the fact that one will be able to escape the not so likable circumstances is more fascinating. America attracts people for its prosperity and wealth. Not to mention the quality of life here is far better than in the circumstances I was born. By quality of life I mean, the material comforts are available here that are not so freely available there in India. These comparisons are no more valid as situation in India is changing fast and for the better. India has been making progress in each area and especially in technology. But even then Indians keep coming here. And most of the Indians are software professionals.
Indian culture dates back to about 10,000 BC. Growing up I hear stories how our nation was a strong and rich country. Rich not only in resources like silk, gold and other minerals, but also culturally great. Indian scriptures take us back to thousands to centuries before Christ was born. The Vedas, Upanishads and of course Bhagwad Geeta have tons of knowledge in many different subjects like math, geography, metaphysics, astronomy, astrology and every other aspect of day to day living. But as it happens to every culture there is a rise and then decline, so it happened with India too. Infighting among various groups and other discrepancies crept in the fabric of society and India declined to an impoverished country. So much so that India was a colony of British till 1947. But after independence, there has been slow and steady progress. Population and corruption are two major hurdles in growth of India. And many Indians aspire to somehow escape from this under developed place and head towards more prosperous places.
Most of us return after a stay of some years. For some surviving here for few months is also difficult. The first thing that one confronts is the cultural shock. If you have not actually felt this shock, then you know what I am talking about. The moral values, attitude of people toward life and work are completely different. I am learning about these differences and the innate similarity that we all are human beings no matter from which part of the word we belong. The faith in my abilities and a profound hope for a better future hold me through this journey.
Coming to a new country is a unique experience. This has been a learning process and I believe this has made me grow as a person. I am aware that many have been in similar situations and have documented their versions of experiences. Nonetheless, I wish to share my experience as well. I think each living person is unique and so every experience is worth a story. I will try to narrate this story in an interesting way.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Chapter One: Arriving with snow and storm
I had been planning my trip to USA. My office was sending me to their US office and they had applied for my visa. The process took a few months. I was thrilled to get the required documents when the visa was approved. Then I visited the US consulate in New Delhi to get my passport ready for travel. After my passport got stamped, I went on a shopping spree. I was mainly looking for western clothes to take with me. Clothes like tops, jeans, trousers, skirts and such other stuff. While buying, I realized that buying western outfit is difficult. It is not as easy as to buy a ready-made salwar, kameez. There are sizes, fits, cuts and washes. This was my first attempt to buy and wear such clothes so I found buying western outfits very difficult. After many efforts finally I found something I could wear and I bought it. The other obstacle was to actually wear them in public. I had never worn a frock or dress after say I was five years old. So wearing the body clinging top and jeans (my first denim) certainly took some heroic effort on my part. But I did it anyway.
Next step was to get a proper hair cut. I got rid of my ponytail and cut hair short. I wanted to look like Princess Diana in short hair. Sadly I looked like Anu in short curly black hair. I also bought huge boxes to carry all these stuff to US of A. Then finally the time came when I had to bid good-byes to all my dear ones. It was a happy sad moment. I hope you understand what I mean. I was off to a maiden voyage in an airplane. And after eighteen hours of flight I landed at Philadelphia Airport. The airport seemed like a huge blanket of white when I peeped out of the window from the descending aero plane. I thought it was normal to snow like this in mid February in Philly. It was snowing heavily. My flight was the last to land on the airport. It was snowstorm day. My colleagues who had come to pick me up seemed like they had arrived from North Pole. They were wearing heavy jackets and shoes. I had expected people from US would be wearing normal sweaters as they are used to this snow. It was like a movie to me. But actually wading in the snow and feeling the chill outside the airport, I realized why each one was wearing what they were wearing. My colleague could hardly maneuver his car in the snow though he had been in Philadelphia for fourteen long years. And after a fun ride (for me), we reached his house. In fact the entire area was shut down. 17th February 2003, the day I landed in Philadelphia, the city received two feet’s snows, a record. An emergency was declared in the area.
The drive from the airport in late evening was exciting for me. I had small chat with Viji and Varun wife and son of my colleague Siva with whom I was staying. Viji prepared dinner and I was happy to eat Indian food. I went to bed after that. My room had a big glass window and I could see snow falling. It is a beautiful sight to see snowfall. Flakes of whites just drift slowly in the wind and slowly settle on piles of white below. As I said before it was snowing heavily the day I landed, the next day all the areas surrounding Philly were covered with at least two feet snow. Some cars could not be seen and seemed like small hillocks of snow all covered with white grainy powder. In the morning I woke up and got ready for office. Siva was busy shoveling the snow in the driveway. Snow collected in all possible roads and it was difficult to take the car out of the garage. Finally after much struggles with ploughs and snow, we were off to office. Main roads were clean, as the county people had cleaned the roads. As we approached the office, I was curious to see the office building and the entrance. To enter office, I had to be very patient and careful as one had to walk through three feet of snow. Nobody was in office and the driveway of the office was loaded with tons of snow. Walking through waist length snow I entered the office. My colleague and I were the only employees there. Others called afterwards to say that they won’t be able to get to office because of snow. After about an hour another colleague Gandhar joined us and finally our boss stepped in. Siva was busy with lots of work and I wondered what to do. I had little work to do. The setup in this new office was different.
Soon enough it was lunch time. Our boss decided that we would have lunch in office. Gandhar brought in some food. He had a difficult tome finding a shop open. All food outlets and malls were closed. I was hungry and cold. So I looked forward to eating the sandwich. When I opened the packet, I was disappointed as it some bunch of lettuce and tomatoes with white bread on top. I had imagined a warm sandwich with butter and mashed potatoes. I ate that cold thing and was back to work. Siva, Gandhar and my boss kept working on some project, which had to be delivered the very next day. I kept looking at some report application. Half the time I felt sleepy. At other time I was tired and bored. The sight of those mountains of snow outside the office kept me awake. The project needed some finishing touches. But the small touches were complete only by midnight when we drove back to Siva’s place. This was the beginning of a busy work schedule I have here in USA
My second working day was not much eventful, except that I filled in some medical insurance forms. Later in that week, all my colleagues decided that we go out for lunch. One of us leaving and we wanted to buy him lunch. So off we went to a Thai restaurant. Snow was still all around but it was clearing up. All of us were seated around a round table. The table was neatly decorated with some flowers in the center. The atmosphere inside the restaurant was peaceful and friendly. Monica, who was sitting next to me, began talking to me. I told here I felt cold in the snow.
Monica said “How is Daram’s sister?”
I said “ I beg your pardon”.
Monica said again “how is Daram’s sister.”
I gave up. I was embarrassed to ask again. I could not figure out what she wanted to know. Siva, who was sitting close by helped me and said that Monica wanted to know “how Dharam’s sister is?”. I realized I had to get used to a different accent in this new office. Monica is a very gentle and kindhearted lady. After that day onwards she and I became very close friends. The first course of the lunch was being served. I expected to have a very hot soup. I had pictured that the soup would be creamy, spicy and full of all herbs that the menu mentioned. The soup bowl, which I got, was a far cry from my imagination. The soup looked like somebody had poured boiling water on some leaves and served in a bowl. The same was true for the next course. I could hardly eat anything. I kept sipping the ice-cold water that was served. I was not happy paying the money that I had to pay for such an awful meal. But soon I was to realize that this would be the kind of food I can expect in any restaurant. The food here is devoid of any spices and fragrance, which are essential part of Indian food. There was no time to eat a desert in the restaurant. So Monica picked up a cake from a nearby grocery store. The cake was the best part of the lunch I had that day. Dori did not like the cake, as it was too much of the pineapple. But for me it was a delicious thing to be enjoyed after a bad lunch.
Next step was to get a proper hair cut. I got rid of my ponytail and cut hair short. I wanted to look like Princess Diana in short hair. Sadly I looked like Anu in short curly black hair. I also bought huge boxes to carry all these stuff to US of A. Then finally the time came when I had to bid good-byes to all my dear ones. It was a happy sad moment. I hope you understand what I mean. I was off to a maiden voyage in an airplane. And after eighteen hours of flight I landed at Philadelphia Airport. The airport seemed like a huge blanket of white when I peeped out of the window from the descending aero plane. I thought it was normal to snow like this in mid February in Philly. It was snowing heavily. My flight was the last to land on the airport. It was snowstorm day. My colleagues who had come to pick me up seemed like they had arrived from North Pole. They were wearing heavy jackets and shoes. I had expected people from US would be wearing normal sweaters as they are used to this snow. It was like a movie to me. But actually wading in the snow and feeling the chill outside the airport, I realized why each one was wearing what they were wearing. My colleague could hardly maneuver his car in the snow though he had been in Philadelphia for fourteen long years. And after a fun ride (for me), we reached his house. In fact the entire area was shut down. 17th February 2003, the day I landed in Philadelphia, the city received two feet’s snows, a record. An emergency was declared in the area.
The drive from the airport in late evening was exciting for me. I had small chat with Viji and Varun wife and son of my colleague Siva with whom I was staying. Viji prepared dinner and I was happy to eat Indian food. I went to bed after that. My room had a big glass window and I could see snow falling. It is a beautiful sight to see snowfall. Flakes of whites just drift slowly in the wind and slowly settle on piles of white below. As I said before it was snowing heavily the day I landed, the next day all the areas surrounding Philly were covered with at least two feet snow. Some cars could not be seen and seemed like small hillocks of snow all covered with white grainy powder. In the morning I woke up and got ready for office. Siva was busy shoveling the snow in the driveway. Snow collected in all possible roads and it was difficult to take the car out of the garage. Finally after much struggles with ploughs and snow, we were off to office. Main roads were clean, as the county people had cleaned the roads. As we approached the office, I was curious to see the office building and the entrance. To enter office, I had to be very patient and careful as one had to walk through three feet of snow. Nobody was in office and the driveway of the office was loaded with tons of snow. Walking through waist length snow I entered the office. My colleague and I were the only employees there. Others called afterwards to say that they won’t be able to get to office because of snow. After about an hour another colleague Gandhar joined us and finally our boss stepped in. Siva was busy with lots of work and I wondered what to do. I had little work to do. The setup in this new office was different.
Soon enough it was lunch time. Our boss decided that we would have lunch in office. Gandhar brought in some food. He had a difficult tome finding a shop open. All food outlets and malls were closed. I was hungry and cold. So I looked forward to eating the sandwich. When I opened the packet, I was disappointed as it some bunch of lettuce and tomatoes with white bread on top. I had imagined a warm sandwich with butter and mashed potatoes. I ate that cold thing and was back to work. Siva, Gandhar and my boss kept working on some project, which had to be delivered the very next day. I kept looking at some report application. Half the time I felt sleepy. At other time I was tired and bored. The sight of those mountains of snow outside the office kept me awake. The project needed some finishing touches. But the small touches were complete only by midnight when we drove back to Siva’s place. This was the beginning of a busy work schedule I have here in USA
My second working day was not much eventful, except that I filled in some medical insurance forms. Later in that week, all my colleagues decided that we go out for lunch. One of us leaving and we wanted to buy him lunch. So off we went to a Thai restaurant. Snow was still all around but it was clearing up. All of us were seated around a round table. The table was neatly decorated with some flowers in the center. The atmosphere inside the restaurant was peaceful and friendly. Monica, who was sitting next to me, began talking to me. I told here I felt cold in the snow.
Monica said “How is Daram’s sister?”
I said “ I beg your pardon”.
Monica said again “how is Daram’s sister.”
I gave up. I was embarrassed to ask again. I could not figure out what she wanted to know. Siva, who was sitting close by helped me and said that Monica wanted to know “how Dharam’s sister is?”. I realized I had to get used to a different accent in this new office. Monica is a very gentle and kindhearted lady. After that day onwards she and I became very close friends. The first course of the lunch was being served. I expected to have a very hot soup. I had pictured that the soup would be creamy, spicy and full of all herbs that the menu mentioned. The soup bowl, which I got, was a far cry from my imagination. The soup looked like somebody had poured boiling water on some leaves and served in a bowl. The same was true for the next course. I could hardly eat anything. I kept sipping the ice-cold water that was served. I was not happy paying the money that I had to pay for such an awful meal. But soon I was to realize that this would be the kind of food I can expect in any restaurant. The food here is devoid of any spices and fragrance, which are essential part of Indian food. There was no time to eat a desert in the restaurant. So Monica picked up a cake from a nearby grocery store. The cake was the best part of the lunch I had that day. Dori did not like the cake, as it was too much of the pineapple. But for me it was a delicious thing to be enjoyed after a bad lunch.
Chapter Three: Getting related to work place and making friends
At office, I was being given small assignments and I was able to do them. The work was not very different from my previous office. I worked for the same company in New Delhi and they brought me here in the US office. But soon I was to realize that working here is very different ball game.
The company that I worked for specializes in developing software for clients who want packages to manage their benefits plans. For example, a large company has some retirement policies for their employees and requires a package to manage the data for a number of employees; the software developed my company helps in that area. The company was started by one individual. He is an actuary himself. He had an idea that software could be developed which did these calculations and so those calculation need not be done by hand.
Though the original idea came from the founder of the company, many developers have contributed to the software. One can say this is a small private company doing a niche job. There are mainly three categories of personals in the company, the actuaries, the developers, and personals that support the clients. Actuarial science is like math but the calculations are mainly to find the retirement benefits for individuals. This is a specific science and required a person to do much calculation to come up with the benefits payable to employees at a certain age. Developers implement all these calculations and are responsible for the overall working of the entire software. The support group helps answer client questions and solve onsite problems.
I had to do my bit of work and also co-ordinate with my Indian colleagues. The India office sent in modules and I was supposed to test and show it here to my boss. One such module came in from India office. I put in the files and showed it to my boss. My boss is a grey haired, bald elderly gentleman. He has lots of working experience of the issues that my company deals with. I can also say that he is intelligent and has a good memory about the problem we had faced and the possible solutions. People skills and patience are not his strong points. So after I showed this particular module from our India office and he had time to test it a bit, he became furious. I later found that he had a very different expectation of what that module was supposed to be doing. But being short tempered he was not ready to listen to any explanations. He was so angry that the things were not working as he wanted that he starting talking very loudly and became so agitated that he turned red in face. And all the fury seemed to be directed on me. As I was supposed to mysteriously know what he expected. There was no documentation of what the developers were told and I had little idea of what was being delivered. That was my first brush with an old, impatient man. I was slowly learning how to present things to such a guy who was capable of erupting into volcanoes of temper. That has been the darkest day in my working career. And I work in this office so that a similar day doest not dawn again
From that day onwards I made sure that, I put more energy into making a paper trail of all the work that I was assigned. This is important as the bosses’ concerned need to know who was responsible for the slightest mistake made and that person was taken to task immediately. As a developer, I was spending more time documenting things than actually development. That is how it works in most offices.
Later while working I learned more things about working in a software firm of this nature. I had seen a lot of back stabbing among developers in India too. But in this office, due to job insecurity, competition from colleagues was huge. Software developers are not one big family wanting to work to bring up a good product. There is jealousy, hatred and the constant need to impress the boss that one is doing more and better than rest of the team. So talking and presenting your ideas is one big advantage for a developer. Development skills and knowledge of the work are secondary. Unfortunately this was my impression in this office. But I was dealing with this each minute with the stoic belief that my work will be noticed. I am not the talkative type. I can work and persevere with my efforts and those were the qualities I depended on during the first few months of my joining the new office.
Each day was a struggle for me to get out of bed. Try not remembering the office, cook some breakfast and get ready for another day. Sweet cereals available in the market are not my idea of breakfast. I would rather have a breakfast sandwich from Dunkin Doughnuts. When I finally for ready for office I would pray and think of the atmosphere I was about to enter be positive. With plenty of positive thinking that I could muster, I prayed with all my sincerity so that the work in office should not bog me down. I have realized that when one begins the day with prayers and hope, the hardship of yesterday diminishes. What stands then is a beautiful morning with new possibilities and lots of hope for better today and tomorrow.
Dealing with an impatient, intelligent boss and insecure, over eager to impress colleagues was not fun. I tried to find other opening to vent my feelings and get out of this vicious office atmosphere. Soon help came in or I must say I helped myself to escape the office. I was involved in a personal development educational organization back in Delhi. This organization has branches all over the world. They offer short courses where the participants reflect analyze and have dialogues with the person leading the course. Participants also discuss about their life, ambitions, desires, and insecurities. These discussions are often moderated and led by the leader of the course. This group level of participation helps all participants to see their life and relationships in very different light. I had left Delhi when I was still participating in one of the course. I was unable to complete that course while in Delhi. I felt I must complete the course.
I found out the address and phone number of their Philadelphia office. The manager at that office was very accommodating and helped me join and continue with the course. Traveling to the center city was one small hurdle for me. I did not know to drive at that time. I was riding to and fro to office with colleagues who stayed in the same apartment complex. So I was a bit spoilt in that area. But I could take a train to the center city and back. Sometimes my batch mates from the organization helped to get there and back from the class. All my batch mates supported me in traveling and in completing the course. In fact I felt very welcome from day one.
Having friendly, welcoming and supportive friends changed my perception of the world. In those initial days I was over whelmed by the new city, new culture and the negative office atmosphere. I related to this new place according to the experience I was having with few of my colleagues. So the entire city, the people appeared rude and unfriendly to me. I thought that one comes to USA to earn money so no one should expect any kind words. When my boss insulted me and was rude, I imagined that was the way it worked in USA. For me the world around me was filled with lots of tension, rude, cold and unfriendly people. I easily felt lonely and scared as I had no one to talk to after I left office. I have no friends or relative in this part of the world. I was like a little five-year old girl left to fend for my self in this cold, rude enemy territory. Occasional talk with Monica in the office came as a relief but the overall feeling was that of being lonely, helpless, not appreciated and being in a thankless job.
From the very first minute I attended the first session of the study group, these feelings diminished. I was happy to meet Barbara, Jennifer, Nancy, Bob and many others of my group members. Each person in the group was a source of inspiration. The link which is common between the members in the group is similar positions in their life. Normally each one going through their life is not reflecting, analyzing their life and looking each incident through a microscope. When one is in a transition from one phase to another then is time for such reflection. This study groups and this organization specializes in conducting such studies in human behavior. So I was in the right spot in the right time. Here I was in a very different culture up rooted from my familiar surrounding and environment. The group discussions, the one to one sessions and the entire study is meant to recognize the strengths of each person. I was realizing that I have many qualities and equal number of areas where I could work to improve my situation. The realization does not come easy. To accept the fact that they have something missing in an area of life, is a heart wrenching process But the very fact that I was doing this analysis and was working toward taking steps to improve my effectiveness kept me going through that grueling five-month period.
The company that I worked for specializes in developing software for clients who want packages to manage their benefits plans. For example, a large company has some retirement policies for their employees and requires a package to manage the data for a number of employees; the software developed my company helps in that area. The company was started by one individual. He is an actuary himself. He had an idea that software could be developed which did these calculations and so those calculation need not be done by hand.
Though the original idea came from the founder of the company, many developers have contributed to the software. One can say this is a small private company doing a niche job. There are mainly three categories of personals in the company, the actuaries, the developers, and personals that support the clients. Actuarial science is like math but the calculations are mainly to find the retirement benefits for individuals. This is a specific science and required a person to do much calculation to come up with the benefits payable to employees at a certain age. Developers implement all these calculations and are responsible for the overall working of the entire software. The support group helps answer client questions and solve onsite problems.
I had to do my bit of work and also co-ordinate with my Indian colleagues. The India office sent in modules and I was supposed to test and show it here to my boss. One such module came in from India office. I put in the files and showed it to my boss. My boss is a grey haired, bald elderly gentleman. He has lots of working experience of the issues that my company deals with. I can also say that he is intelligent and has a good memory about the problem we had faced and the possible solutions. People skills and patience are not his strong points. So after I showed this particular module from our India office and he had time to test it a bit, he became furious. I later found that he had a very different expectation of what that module was supposed to be doing. But being short tempered he was not ready to listen to any explanations. He was so angry that the things were not working as he wanted that he starting talking very loudly and became so agitated that he turned red in face. And all the fury seemed to be directed on me. As I was supposed to mysteriously know what he expected. There was no documentation of what the developers were told and I had little idea of what was being delivered. That was my first brush with an old, impatient man. I was slowly learning how to present things to such a guy who was capable of erupting into volcanoes of temper. That has been the darkest day in my working career. And I work in this office so that a similar day doest not dawn again
From that day onwards I made sure that, I put more energy into making a paper trail of all the work that I was assigned. This is important as the bosses’ concerned need to know who was responsible for the slightest mistake made and that person was taken to task immediately. As a developer, I was spending more time documenting things than actually development. That is how it works in most offices.
Later while working I learned more things about working in a software firm of this nature. I had seen a lot of back stabbing among developers in India too. But in this office, due to job insecurity, competition from colleagues was huge. Software developers are not one big family wanting to work to bring up a good product. There is jealousy, hatred and the constant need to impress the boss that one is doing more and better than rest of the team. So talking and presenting your ideas is one big advantage for a developer. Development skills and knowledge of the work are secondary. Unfortunately this was my impression in this office. But I was dealing with this each minute with the stoic belief that my work will be noticed. I am not the talkative type. I can work and persevere with my efforts and those were the qualities I depended on during the first few months of my joining the new office.
Each day was a struggle for me to get out of bed. Try not remembering the office, cook some breakfast and get ready for another day. Sweet cereals available in the market are not my idea of breakfast. I would rather have a breakfast sandwich from Dunkin Doughnuts. When I finally for ready for office I would pray and think of the atmosphere I was about to enter be positive. With plenty of positive thinking that I could muster, I prayed with all my sincerity so that the work in office should not bog me down. I have realized that when one begins the day with prayers and hope, the hardship of yesterday diminishes. What stands then is a beautiful morning with new possibilities and lots of hope for better today and tomorrow.
Dealing with an impatient, intelligent boss and insecure, over eager to impress colleagues was not fun. I tried to find other opening to vent my feelings and get out of this vicious office atmosphere. Soon help came in or I must say I helped myself to escape the office. I was involved in a personal development educational organization back in Delhi. This organization has branches all over the world. They offer short courses where the participants reflect analyze and have dialogues with the person leading the course. Participants also discuss about their life, ambitions, desires, and insecurities. These discussions are often moderated and led by the leader of the course. This group level of participation helps all participants to see their life and relationships in very different light. I had left Delhi when I was still participating in one of the course. I was unable to complete that course while in Delhi. I felt I must complete the course.
I found out the address and phone number of their Philadelphia office. The manager at that office was very accommodating and helped me join and continue with the course. Traveling to the center city was one small hurdle for me. I did not know to drive at that time. I was riding to and fro to office with colleagues who stayed in the same apartment complex. So I was a bit spoilt in that area. But I could take a train to the center city and back. Sometimes my batch mates from the organization helped to get there and back from the class. All my batch mates supported me in traveling and in completing the course. In fact I felt very welcome from day one.
Having friendly, welcoming and supportive friends changed my perception of the world. In those initial days I was over whelmed by the new city, new culture and the negative office atmosphere. I related to this new place according to the experience I was having with few of my colleagues. So the entire city, the people appeared rude and unfriendly to me. I thought that one comes to USA to earn money so no one should expect any kind words. When my boss insulted me and was rude, I imagined that was the way it worked in USA. For me the world around me was filled with lots of tension, rude, cold and unfriendly people. I easily felt lonely and scared as I had no one to talk to after I left office. I have no friends or relative in this part of the world. I was like a little five-year old girl left to fend for my self in this cold, rude enemy territory. Occasional talk with Monica in the office came as a relief but the overall feeling was that of being lonely, helpless, not appreciated and being in a thankless job.
From the very first minute I attended the first session of the study group, these feelings diminished. I was happy to meet Barbara, Jennifer, Nancy, Bob and many others of my group members. Each person in the group was a source of inspiration. The link which is common between the members in the group is similar positions in their life. Normally each one going through their life is not reflecting, analyzing their life and looking each incident through a microscope. When one is in a transition from one phase to another then is time for such reflection. This study groups and this organization specializes in conducting such studies in human behavior. So I was in the right spot in the right time. Here I was in a very different culture up rooted from my familiar surrounding and environment. The group discussions, the one to one sessions and the entire study is meant to recognize the strengths of each person. I was realizing that I have many qualities and equal number of areas where I could work to improve my situation. The realization does not come easy. To accept the fact that they have something missing in an area of life, is a heart wrenching process But the very fact that I was doing this analysis and was working toward taking steps to improve my effectiveness kept me going through that grueling five-month period.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Chapter Four : My friends source of my inspiration
Jennifer was a successful business woman, having some difficult moments in her business. She is strong, independent, articulate, loving and straightforward people I have ever met. She was so supportive of me, driving me to center city and to New York once, that I have always felt that I have taken undue advantage of her generosity. Helping others comes naturally to her. She was involved with a prominent charity and I also went to some meetings to such a charity.
Being an American woman, I would expect her to be materialistic. But she was an exact opposite of what, I imagined an American business women would be. She took care to find about the source that got the profits each time she bought any product. When buying anything, she would find out how the profits were being used by a shop, brand name. She wanted that her money goes to some community-based organizations who earn less profit and support families. I was stunned to hear her theories of how to use money and for what purpose. She absolutely hated big cars, big houses and other fabulous ideas that many fellow American shares.
She was such a source of inspiration and encouragement for me, I felt like I have met an elder sister. Toward the end of the study session, I also met her fiancée Jamie. I was so happy for both of them. I had watched her cheeks go pink and her eyes sparkle and voices drop to whispers whenever she mentioned Jamie. So when I met both of them, I felt they are a portrait of a loving couple, who cared for each other. When they were around each other the room seemed to fill up with happiness, love and acceptance.
Barbara, a nurse by profession was an older member of the group. She was on a brink of retirement and had recently gone through a divorce. She would speak how she took care of her children. She sewed, cooked food, and dropped kids to school and their music lessons. She had never imagined that her marriage would end. She was from the old school where one thinks that marriages are for a life time. As I am an Indian, where divorce rate is still very low, I could easily relate to her feeling of being betrayed, dumped and helplessness when she heard of her divorce.
The design of the course which we were attending is such that each person accepts the challenges and get ready to face life as it is, in its natural way. Barbara’s resolute effort to gather all efforts and face the reality of life was admirable. During the five month of the course we were doing together, she started putting on some makeup, taking care of herself. She was not actually looking for a partner right then. Her attitude towards herself, and even her ex-husband turned positive every day during the time I was meeting her.
Barbara took on going to London by herself when she missed one major session in the entire course. For a lady her age and position, this was a very bold step. She must have always traveled with her husband earlier. And to travel all alone to a foreign land did not deter her from continuing in the course. She soon realized that she had to let go her bitterness for her fate and bring back the positive attitude toward life. She then took time off to be at her grand son’s graduation, spent lot of time with her daughters, redecorated some parts of her house. She was so inspiring and always a source of compassion and affection to me.
Bob is a graduate from MIT. Anyone, who has heard of that institute, can easily understand why I was in awe of him. He is intelligent, kind and an introvert. He was single (at that time) may be in late thirty’s or early forty’s. He was one of the silent members of the group. I had not spoken to him much. But there came an occasion that I had to speak to him.
I was supposed to attend a late session on Friday and be there in the center early in the morning on Saturday. Bob lived at stone’s throw from the place where I was supposed to be. I knew about this schedule well ahead of time. I was discussing about my travel arrangements for that weekend with my coach. I did not drive then. Returning back home well past midnight and then going again before 8:30 a.m. was a challenge for me. Then my coach suggested “why don’t you stay at Bob’s place”. I was stunned, astonished, outraged and silent for moments on the phone when my coach suggested this. How could she suggest I stay over in a guy home? For an Indian female with a traditional mind set this seemed out of bounds. I was single too. If Bob was married and had family, I would have had no hesitation. But know both our situations, I was flabbergasted. My coach reasoned with me and told me to look and think out of the box. I realized that I was making it too much of an issue with his and my single status. So I picked up a phone and called Bob and asked if I could stay over at his place on that Friday. Of course he had no problem. But he had no clue of my struggle with me before I called him.
On that particular Friday, he and I walked up till his apartment. He had cleaned up a room for me to stay. He owned a big huge apartment and did not use all rooms I guess. Before going to bed, I asked him to wake me up early as I had to get ready to go to the study center.
He asked “Early, meaning 4 am?”
I said “NO early means 6:30 am”.
Truly he is a morning person. The next morning I woke up around 6 am. And he was already busy with the weekend chores of cleaning and laundry. Then he offered we go to a nearby Starbucks for coffee. So there we were eating muffins and having coffee on a roadside chairs placed near the Starbucks. And he narrated stories of his college days while I gave details of my family back home. Bob was very amused to know that my sister had masters in Chemistry. That was a cute morning breakfast on a cool summer morning.
When leaving Bob’s apartment, he said “So, it was not bad after all”.
It seems my coach Patricia had already had a conversation with him about my situation and mindset about staying at his place. I was taken aback at that time. Patricia had made sure that he had information how an Indian female would react to staying at a strangers place overnight. Well so the entire Bob experiment was pleasant and as easy as being at my own place.
The Friday night stay at Bob’s apartment gave me an idea how intellectuals live. His house seemed like a mini library full of math and science books. Some art pictures and articles were in the living room. He had a piano which he played at time also in the living room. What impressed me most about Bob was that he was totally committed and devoted toward the work he was doing. His notes were neatly stacked and so were his numerous journals, hand written notes all around the study. It seems like he had read all the books that were around there. Most of the books I picked up had his hand written notes. I had not seen so many books on Science, Math, Chemistry, and Physics at somebody home before. He is a scholar.
My coach Patricia is a kind, gentle, intelligent and ever smiling individual. Coaching in such self development study groups is a difficult position. She was a manager in a software company and did fill time job there. She coached about five persons in my study group including me. She was an active member of the choir group in her church. She is married. She lives at an hour drive from her work and the center city place where this study group was conducted. Her personal schedule seemed filled up to the last minute each day. She is a giver always. Managing a job, being a volunteer in the study group, a singer of choir group, managing her home all at the same time is not easy. And doing all this never did I see her exhausted. She was there every time I met her with a smile on her face and ready to help any member who needed her help. Also her coaching style was being friendly and easy. I had no hesitation talking to her about my deepest of insecurities. And always she came up with a plan for me to overcome each hurdle.
During the five month of that study, I learned many things. I was getting related to some friendly and intelligent people and so USA and Philadelphia no longer appeared cold, rude and indifferent. I felt that human beings are similar all over the world. As there can be in-sensitive people in India, they have their counter parts in USA too. I began to focus on the strengths and qualities of the other positive people I was meeting. I found very kind, supportive persons all around me all the time. When I had to travel to New York, my group members helped me. They would appreciate my efforts at getting related to people and culture around me.
Meanwhile, I was preparing to drive a car. I had cleared the written exam to get a learner’s permit. I took some driving classes from a local driving school. The driving classes were fun and difficult at the same time. Imagine a frightened, shivering female behind the wheel of a car. The driving instructor constantly giving out instructions
“Slow, take a right on the Stop sign”.
“You are going wide on turns. Make it clean”
“NO. NO, I said slow down”
He was more angry and scared about my driving than I was. The first two classes were awful. But on the third driving class I was very determined. I analyzed and convinced myself that driving was not a big deal and it had to be approached as fun and another learning experience and not some Herculean task like climbing Himalayas. In India, the people who cannot do very good become drivers, I wondered and I had not done that bad at school so I should be able to drive. And truly my driving improved from that day onwards. Even my driving instructor saw the difference and complimented me for finally having some confidence.
Then after some more practice and failing the parallel parking test once, I finally got the driver license on my second attempt. I was so happy that I could finally drive on my own. Soon, I was told to go to India office for some work. The office was paying my air fare so I happily agreed. I had a good time visiting my family back home. Although I was working most of the days, it seemed like a vacation to me as I could go home to my family each day after work in Delhi, India. That was a good break and required vacation for me.
After returning from India, I started looking for a car. Obviously I was looking for a used car. I did not want to invest in a brand new car, as it was merely eight months since I arrived in this country. Luckily for me, a colleague of mine, Dori bought a new van and was ready to sell her old car. I got a good deal and I was a proud owner of a car now. By the time I finally bought a car, it was months since I had driven a car. And I was once again scared of driving, roads and traffic. The car stood in the parking lot for weeks, before I had courage to drive to office.
There was another angel waiting in the wing for me. I had become friendly with another working female in the apartment complex named, “Madhu”. Madhu is a hell of a character. Strong willed, practical, polite, intelligent all at the same time. She encouraged me a lot to drive on my own. I began by driving in the parking lot. Then drove to a near by shopping mall. On a weekend, Madhu would sit in the passenger seat and guide me in driving to a shopping complex. After much practice and encouragement from her, I could drive the car to the office. Since then Madhu and I have become close friends and she has been very supportive of me.
At office, I was still facing the fact that I was unable to speak for myself and particularly was not comfortable voicing my opinion when men are around. This short coming led me to hear whatever my boss was saying to me at office. Talking to Bob and asking him if I could put up in his apartment for a day was small step I took. Soon I would be talking in office meetings and agree or disagree with my boss during discussions. The fear that I felt when someone in authority spoke to me was decreasing for me. And I was able to see and realize for myself a person sitting at the other end of the table is also a human being and has some short comings too.
I had learnt a technique called re-generation. According to this technique I need to visualize a situation with a positive attitude. So when I was very angry with my colleagues, instead of giving more reasons to be mad at them, I would think may be they had a bad day at home and so they are behaving that way. Or look into the situation more deeply and analyze why I am reacting negatively to a very small issue. Basically it helped me calm my nerves, face each situation with new strength and confidence. Every morning I visualized that the day would be full of co-operation from my boss and colleagues and I would be able to deliver on the tasks I was assigned. With much determination I was able to keep pace with my work environment.
Being an American woman, I would expect her to be materialistic. But she was an exact opposite of what, I imagined an American business women would be. She took care to find about the source that got the profits each time she bought any product. When buying anything, she would find out how the profits were being used by a shop, brand name. She wanted that her money goes to some community-based organizations who earn less profit and support families. I was stunned to hear her theories of how to use money and for what purpose. She absolutely hated big cars, big houses and other fabulous ideas that many fellow American shares.
She was such a source of inspiration and encouragement for me, I felt like I have met an elder sister. Toward the end of the study session, I also met her fiancée Jamie. I was so happy for both of them. I had watched her cheeks go pink and her eyes sparkle and voices drop to whispers whenever she mentioned Jamie. So when I met both of them, I felt they are a portrait of a loving couple, who cared for each other. When they were around each other the room seemed to fill up with happiness, love and acceptance.
Barbara, a nurse by profession was an older member of the group. She was on a brink of retirement and had recently gone through a divorce. She would speak how she took care of her children. She sewed, cooked food, and dropped kids to school and their music lessons. She had never imagined that her marriage would end. She was from the old school where one thinks that marriages are for a life time. As I am an Indian, where divorce rate is still very low, I could easily relate to her feeling of being betrayed, dumped and helplessness when she heard of her divorce.
The design of the course which we were attending is such that each person accepts the challenges and get ready to face life as it is, in its natural way. Barbara’s resolute effort to gather all efforts and face the reality of life was admirable. During the five month of the course we were doing together, she started putting on some makeup, taking care of herself. She was not actually looking for a partner right then. Her attitude towards herself, and even her ex-husband turned positive every day during the time I was meeting her.
Barbara took on going to London by herself when she missed one major session in the entire course. For a lady her age and position, this was a very bold step. She must have always traveled with her husband earlier. And to travel all alone to a foreign land did not deter her from continuing in the course. She soon realized that she had to let go her bitterness for her fate and bring back the positive attitude toward life. She then took time off to be at her grand son’s graduation, spent lot of time with her daughters, redecorated some parts of her house. She was so inspiring and always a source of compassion and affection to me.
Bob is a graduate from MIT. Anyone, who has heard of that institute, can easily understand why I was in awe of him. He is intelligent, kind and an introvert. He was single (at that time) may be in late thirty’s or early forty’s. He was one of the silent members of the group. I had not spoken to him much. But there came an occasion that I had to speak to him.
I was supposed to attend a late session on Friday and be there in the center early in the morning on Saturday. Bob lived at stone’s throw from the place where I was supposed to be. I knew about this schedule well ahead of time. I was discussing about my travel arrangements for that weekend with my coach. I did not drive then. Returning back home well past midnight and then going again before 8:30 a.m. was a challenge for me. Then my coach suggested “why don’t you stay at Bob’s place”. I was stunned, astonished, outraged and silent for moments on the phone when my coach suggested this. How could she suggest I stay over in a guy home? For an Indian female with a traditional mind set this seemed out of bounds. I was single too. If Bob was married and had family, I would have had no hesitation. But know both our situations, I was flabbergasted. My coach reasoned with me and told me to look and think out of the box. I realized that I was making it too much of an issue with his and my single status. So I picked up a phone and called Bob and asked if I could stay over at his place on that Friday. Of course he had no problem. But he had no clue of my struggle with me before I called him.
On that particular Friday, he and I walked up till his apartment. He had cleaned up a room for me to stay. He owned a big huge apartment and did not use all rooms I guess. Before going to bed, I asked him to wake me up early as I had to get ready to go to the study center.
He asked “Early, meaning 4 am?”
I said “NO early means 6:30 am”.
Truly he is a morning person. The next morning I woke up around 6 am. And he was already busy with the weekend chores of cleaning and laundry. Then he offered we go to a nearby Starbucks for coffee. So there we were eating muffins and having coffee on a roadside chairs placed near the Starbucks. And he narrated stories of his college days while I gave details of my family back home. Bob was very amused to know that my sister had masters in Chemistry. That was a cute morning breakfast on a cool summer morning.
When leaving Bob’s apartment, he said “So, it was not bad after all”.
It seems my coach Patricia had already had a conversation with him about my situation and mindset about staying at his place. I was taken aback at that time. Patricia had made sure that he had information how an Indian female would react to staying at a strangers place overnight. Well so the entire Bob experiment was pleasant and as easy as being at my own place.
The Friday night stay at Bob’s apartment gave me an idea how intellectuals live. His house seemed like a mini library full of math and science books. Some art pictures and articles were in the living room. He had a piano which he played at time also in the living room. What impressed me most about Bob was that he was totally committed and devoted toward the work he was doing. His notes were neatly stacked and so were his numerous journals, hand written notes all around the study. It seems like he had read all the books that were around there. Most of the books I picked up had his hand written notes. I had not seen so many books on Science, Math, Chemistry, and Physics at somebody home before. He is a scholar.
My coach Patricia is a kind, gentle, intelligent and ever smiling individual. Coaching in such self development study groups is a difficult position. She was a manager in a software company and did fill time job there. She coached about five persons in my study group including me. She was an active member of the choir group in her church. She is married. She lives at an hour drive from her work and the center city place where this study group was conducted. Her personal schedule seemed filled up to the last minute each day. She is a giver always. Managing a job, being a volunteer in the study group, a singer of choir group, managing her home all at the same time is not easy. And doing all this never did I see her exhausted. She was there every time I met her with a smile on her face and ready to help any member who needed her help. Also her coaching style was being friendly and easy. I had no hesitation talking to her about my deepest of insecurities. And always she came up with a plan for me to overcome each hurdle.
During the five month of that study, I learned many things. I was getting related to some friendly and intelligent people and so USA and Philadelphia no longer appeared cold, rude and indifferent. I felt that human beings are similar all over the world. As there can be in-sensitive people in India, they have their counter parts in USA too. I began to focus on the strengths and qualities of the other positive people I was meeting. I found very kind, supportive persons all around me all the time. When I had to travel to New York, my group members helped me. They would appreciate my efforts at getting related to people and culture around me.
Meanwhile, I was preparing to drive a car. I had cleared the written exam to get a learner’s permit. I took some driving classes from a local driving school. The driving classes were fun and difficult at the same time. Imagine a frightened, shivering female behind the wheel of a car. The driving instructor constantly giving out instructions
“Slow, take a right on the Stop sign”.
“You are going wide on turns. Make it clean”
“NO. NO, I said slow down”
He was more angry and scared about my driving than I was. The first two classes were awful. But on the third driving class I was very determined. I analyzed and convinced myself that driving was not a big deal and it had to be approached as fun and another learning experience and not some Herculean task like climbing Himalayas. In India, the people who cannot do very good become drivers, I wondered and I had not done that bad at school so I should be able to drive. And truly my driving improved from that day onwards. Even my driving instructor saw the difference and complimented me for finally having some confidence.
Then after some more practice and failing the parallel parking test once, I finally got the driver license on my second attempt. I was so happy that I could finally drive on my own. Soon, I was told to go to India office for some work. The office was paying my air fare so I happily agreed. I had a good time visiting my family back home. Although I was working most of the days, it seemed like a vacation to me as I could go home to my family each day after work in Delhi, India. That was a good break and required vacation for me.
After returning from India, I started looking for a car. Obviously I was looking for a used car. I did not want to invest in a brand new car, as it was merely eight months since I arrived in this country. Luckily for me, a colleague of mine, Dori bought a new van and was ready to sell her old car. I got a good deal and I was a proud owner of a car now. By the time I finally bought a car, it was months since I had driven a car. And I was once again scared of driving, roads and traffic. The car stood in the parking lot for weeks, before I had courage to drive to office.
There was another angel waiting in the wing for me. I had become friendly with another working female in the apartment complex named, “Madhu”. Madhu is a hell of a character. Strong willed, practical, polite, intelligent all at the same time. She encouraged me a lot to drive on my own. I began by driving in the parking lot. Then drove to a near by shopping mall. On a weekend, Madhu would sit in the passenger seat and guide me in driving to a shopping complex. After much practice and encouragement from her, I could drive the car to the office. Since then Madhu and I have become close friends and she has been very supportive of me.
At office, I was still facing the fact that I was unable to speak for myself and particularly was not comfortable voicing my opinion when men are around. This short coming led me to hear whatever my boss was saying to me at office. Talking to Bob and asking him if I could put up in his apartment for a day was small step I took. Soon I would be talking in office meetings and agree or disagree with my boss during discussions. The fear that I felt when someone in authority spoke to me was decreasing for me. And I was able to see and realize for myself a person sitting at the other end of the table is also a human being and has some short comings too.
I had learnt a technique called re-generation. According to this technique I need to visualize a situation with a positive attitude. So when I was very angry with my colleagues, instead of giving more reasons to be mad at them, I would think may be they had a bad day at home and so they are behaving that way. Or look into the situation more deeply and analyze why I am reacting negatively to a very small issue. Basically it helped me calm my nerves, face each situation with new strength and confidence. Every morning I visualized that the day would be full of co-operation from my boss and colleagues and I would be able to deliver on the tasks I was assigned. With much determination I was able to keep pace with my work environment.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Chapter Five: Exploring Dunkin donuts, coffee, malls and Indian grocery stores
I was slowly getting a hang of the new surrounding around me. Shopping forms an important chore in a life of each person here. There are deals, exciting deals, good deals and sales to be found everywhere. Then there are coupons and shop cards. For Example a store like “Acme” where you but things like fruits, milk and other stuff has a free membership card which you get free. Some discounts are available when one uses that card. So apart from a credit card, such store membership cards are also some of the prized possessions one can have in USA. Coupons are discount vouchers printed in local papers. One can cut those vouchers from news papers and other magazines and use while shopping, at gas stations or even doing a oil change for your car. Then one also waits for a particular sale to but certain products. Usually one can buy good winter clothes in early spring sales when those giant stores are dumping their winter inventory. Electronic sales are good after thanks giving and Christmas. Most families buy their Christmas gifts for next season in after Christmas sales. A pro at shopping can tell you what to shop from which store. For daily household items go to store named “COSTCO”. Costco is a store specializing in selling goods at affordable rates. Things that one needs like oil, bath rolls, detergents etc can be easily purchased here at this store in bulk. So Costco is considered a family store. Similar names are recommended in case you ask for furniture, books, toys etc.
So I kept learning from experience and from what other people bought. Then there are garage sales and moving sales. Garage sales are second sales of old items arranged by a single or more than one household. You can get dirt cheap furniture and other decorations from garage sales as people want to throw away the old stuff and buy new each spring. Moving sale is a sale put up by a moving family. It is a pain to move things from one place to another and expensive too. So many families sell their stuff before moving. I got good deals on such sales.
The other unique thing I saw here are coffee shops. Starbucks, Dunkin donuts, Wawa are just a few coffee places I have seen so far. The coffee can be bitter to more gentle in these shops. Visiting these places I wondered if people here made coffee at home or not. Coffee and muffins are popular breakfast items. I liked the Dunkin donuts coffee the best among these. And I am big fan of the donuts at Dunkin Donuts. What amuses me is that I have not been to any Dunkin Donut which is not owned by an Indian. Surprisingly, many Dunkin Donuts are owned and run by Indian families and they are very successful at running this chain of coffee shops all over USA. So it not a big surprise that I like both the coffee and donuts at Dunkin Donuts. Donuts are like pastries available in India but are normally round in shape and generally with a hole in center. Donuts come in million flavors. Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, glazed, filled with jellies and many other varieties.
The other cheap eating places are of course MacDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Taco Bells. But I am partial to burger kings as they have vegetarian sandwich. Also I like Taco bells a lot. The seven layered bean burrito and chalupa are the only thing that can compare to an Indian tastes. Let me warn you that all the names I mentioned above are considered very unhealthy in USA especially the Taco bells is considered worst and poor persons meal. I keep wondering how the boiled beans and rice served in a wheat wrap be so bad. But that is not the point; I am just saying I love eating the taco. Being a vegetarian cannot comment on the non vegetarian stuff that one get on these places. Also I have not tasted beer or wines so I cannot comment on that subject too. I also liked the Mexican, Thai and Italian places I visited.
Indian grocery store are important to me as I can get every item I think about there. Indian who came to USA before me say in 80’s and early 90’s say that the availability of Indian items like vegetables, lentils, seasoning has vastly improved over the period of time. So I am lucky that I can get all vegetables and dals(lentils) that I want here at those store. Once you step inside a tiny Indian store, you enter a mini India. Most buyers and owner are Indian .one can talk in Hindi and ask for an item in Hindi. And for those moments one forgets that we are thousands of miles from India.
So I kept learning from experience and from what other people bought. Then there are garage sales and moving sales. Garage sales are second sales of old items arranged by a single or more than one household. You can get dirt cheap furniture and other decorations from garage sales as people want to throw away the old stuff and buy new each spring. Moving sale is a sale put up by a moving family. It is a pain to move things from one place to another and expensive too. So many families sell their stuff before moving. I got good deals on such sales.
The other unique thing I saw here are coffee shops. Starbucks, Dunkin donuts, Wawa are just a few coffee places I have seen so far. The coffee can be bitter to more gentle in these shops. Visiting these places I wondered if people here made coffee at home or not. Coffee and muffins are popular breakfast items. I liked the Dunkin donuts coffee the best among these. And I am big fan of the donuts at Dunkin Donuts. What amuses me is that I have not been to any Dunkin Donut which is not owned by an Indian. Surprisingly, many Dunkin Donuts are owned and run by Indian families and they are very successful at running this chain of coffee shops all over USA. So it not a big surprise that I like both the coffee and donuts at Dunkin Donuts. Donuts are like pastries available in India but are normally round in shape and generally with a hole in center. Donuts come in million flavors. Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, glazed, filled with jellies and many other varieties.
The other cheap eating places are of course MacDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Taco Bells. But I am partial to burger kings as they have vegetarian sandwich. Also I like Taco bells a lot. The seven layered bean burrito and chalupa are the only thing that can compare to an Indian tastes. Let me warn you that all the names I mentioned above are considered very unhealthy in USA especially the Taco bells is considered worst and poor persons meal. I keep wondering how the boiled beans and rice served in a wheat wrap be so bad. But that is not the point; I am just saying I love eating the taco. Being a vegetarian cannot comment on the non vegetarian stuff that one get on these places. Also I have not tasted beer or wines so I cannot comment on that subject too. I also liked the Mexican, Thai and Italian places I visited.
Indian grocery store are important to me as I can get every item I think about there. Indian who came to USA before me say in 80’s and early 90’s say that the availability of Indian items like vegetables, lentils, seasoning has vastly improved over the period of time. So I am lucky that I can get all vegetables and dals(lentils) that I want here at those store. Once you step inside a tiny Indian store, you enter a mini India. Most buyers and owner are Indian .one can talk in Hindi and ask for an item in Hindi. And for those moments one forgets that we are thousands of miles from India.
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